Live a "forbidden love" overdrive thinking that you do not have it next holidays or other important moments in your life, you're ecstatic when you see, but soul hurts every morning when you wake up alone ... all without him. I've asked several times if it's worth and as many times you come to cheer you with the thought that he loves you and will be free, as you promised. That there are many or few cases with a happy ending, one can not determine, nor anything you would warm a response. The fact is that it happens to fall in love with a married man, and you are now in this situation and do not know how to do that you may be better.
Do not say that counsel will resolve the problem by itself, but I can help you get an informed decision, taking account only of yourself. Here is what you propose to analyze the therapist Lena Rusti cold where you are in:
1. Think about why you chose a relationship impossible. Even if you did not know he's married, it's very possible that there may be some delays in the interior of taking a relationship to take you to the elections of this type of relationship. And if it's that, you can not overcome this stage than by yourself, not by another.
2. Do not turn the relationship into a competition with each other, where you feel most loved when you get more in relation to what she achieved. The competition will turn your negative feelings and behaviors that will take effect in time.
3. Do not become a second wife. Trying to make him feel guilty and responsible for you, and you put pressure on yourself accountable. And trying to get things they want, putting pressure on a daily basis, you risk creating a feeling of choking her, which remain only because they feel more guilty.
4. Do not give unconditionally just because you're afraid not to leave. We create the feeling that you give not empower him to take up the relationship and when you will squeeze the energy and love.
5. Do not lie alone and do not let you lie. If you are in this relationship, as is assumed in this moment, do not delude yourself that will change.
6. Do not feel guilty. It's his choice to be in this relationship, as well as yours. It's not your fault that he has not found another way to be happy, but do not let yourself accountable for your choices.
7. Do not let him use you to solve problems in other relationships. If you do this, and risk being left with a bitter taste and confidence in yourself and people will be difficult to restore.
8. Do not think that is a victim. Men involved in multiple relationships can be very moving texts that victims are usually perfect. Do not let you upload. If you choose to be with him, ask him even dignity.
9. Think carefully about what you want from this relationship, then think about its limits, because you can not always get what you want. Then take a decision accordingly. At least, if you choose to be still there, you know who you are.
Woman in the shadow of a man, but happy
There are women who have experienced a lifetime in the shadow of a man beloved, but an official relationship forward. But it chose the taking. Knowing that divorce is impossible, and knowing that they are chosen. But not always so. Therefore, the therapist Lena Rusti advise you that in your story that is dual to think your position and how comfortable you are. If you accept to be in the shade, you will have the chance to be happy with how you are offered in such a relationship. If you do not accept it, maybe it's better to look elsewhere or wait, if deadlines are not extended again and again and again.
From woman to woman
Now they think a woman who has gone through this experience and had the strength to do what he deemed it best for her? Simon had a one year relationship with a married man who decided to separate. Here's how she sees things now:
- DI F is connected, run. If married, you Pretend that's already dead. Whatever they say, whatever you love, in the end proves to be too weak to make a decision to radically change his life and would prefer easy path, which is to remain in the marital home.
- A married man is never with you when you need Whatever you would find it would be. If we take into account holidays throughout the year and important days like birthday, he will always be there with his wife, and you with .. phone, waiting for him to answer your sms. And the loneliness that's more painful than that you do not really know anyone.
- When you're alone and not have anyone in your life, even you are to 0, but when you love a married man already start with -1.
